Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Top 10 Reasons our Kids Leave Church

"We’ve taken a historic, 2,000 year old faith, dressed it in plaid and skinny jeans and tried to sell it as “cool” to our kids. It’s not cool. It’s not modern. What we’re packaging is a cheap knockoff of the world we’re called to evangelize."

Screen Shot 2013-02-08 at 9.04.54 AM

39 comments:

  1. Very accurate.
    The American church struggles to keep up with the world but they forget the time tested truths of the Bible. A church that My family previously went to decided to take Baptist out of their name because they did not want to enter into the denomination argument. The Baptist creed is not bad. I have been to worship nights at another church were it was all about fun and comfort and the songs had no meaning.
    My church is not perfect but I feel that it is more alive than many churches in the States. It has no coffee house and our youth group meetings are simple but people are growing in their faith. We don't need the extra world paraphernalia.

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  2. I agree with many of the arguments Marc makes. The problems that he points out, I believe, applies not only to churches but to individuals as well. Christians often try to please the unbelievers, and in order to get their attention, sugarcoats the truth, imitates the world, and ultimately fail to present the actual Gospel. What is necessary is for the church, and for individual believers, to once again share the hope of Christ in its truest form, without fear or shame of how they may be seen or treated by the world.

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  3. The article is good and I can see many of the same problems in various churches that I have visited. However, there is still a good percentage of churches that many of the problems do not apply to simply because these churches are what some would call "old-fashion." Granted these churches tend to have less youths, but they still do fall away. I wonder what he would have to say about those.
    -Calvin Wunderink

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  4. Although never having been in a pizza party or a jumbotron in church, I can understand why these would be a problem. The problem not only lies with churches but also the parents of the children. As parents they should raise their children as God-fearing children, even if the church fails to do this.

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  5. An idea that really stuck out to me was that the responsibility is taken, somewhat, off of the teens and challenges their mentors and parents to take action. I am by no means saying that teens don't make wrong decisions or devote themselves fully to the gospel of Jesus, but often times I feel that kids turn away because they cannot live up to the standards placed before them. Condemning them instead of speaking the grace of God, punishing them instead of showing them a different way, the right way. I'm just glad to see that after reading this, anyone can understand that as the body of Christ, no one is exempt from transforming the younger generation to a holy one.

    Another reason why I like this post is because I now have been reminded that we ARE supposed to be different. I do know that as Christians we are supposed to be in the world but not of the world; however, I think that I may have drifted away from this a little bit and have definitely been re-reminded of our purpose. "When the ship is in the ocean, everything's fine. When the ocean gets into the ship, you're in trouble."

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  6. I totally agree. We can lay the blame for much of this on ourselves that is, on the church. While there are notable exceptions, most American churches over-emphasize emotion and ignore the biblical commands to develop the mind. Over time kids/teens hear the same bible stories, and take for granted the gift of salvation.

    -Michelle Calderon

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  7. This article is quite good at describing the problems of many churches, especially those that are contemporary. I agree that "feelings" are often wanted more than a true relationship with Christ. Those that only are Christians based of of feelings will quickly fall away in a season that they don't feel God with them or those "happy" feelings they got in the good times. Then many will go to other places for good feelings (those those are only good for a time).

    I also think that the blame cannot only be put on the church. I feel that many parents have stopped teaching their kids the fundamentals of Christianity (though the good old fashioned Sunday School's have been foolishly ditched as well). I very much think that though it is all important to have real relationship with Jesus, those principles must be taught for kids to stand strong.

    -Levi Keagy

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  8. I (Michael Seo) said.. =)


    I agree with some parts of the article, but totally disagree the criticism about modern kids, and tell people that it's a problem not to go church. I'm truly sure that the world is changing step by step whether it's going through destruction or benediction; it's changing. But although church has been among people almost 2000 years and now most of people know the main points of its preaching briefly, the church COULDN'T and CAN'T stop people do sin. For example, church tells us to love each other more than 2000 years, but we will still do hate, steal, gossip, and even kill each other. If we point out the cause of this problem is not going church, then we are using a wrong equation to solve. Because we may tell somebody what he or she has to do more than thousand times as what church does, but if he or she doesn't follow, then we might blame on him or her because he or she decided to do sin. haamm super tired =P anyway, then some people might say that we need to worship God to have peace. But I wonder which one is first to do being kind to each other or worshiping God to get peach. =)
    I want to sing a great song from Beatles, "Let it be", because it's our jobs to choose our world through God's plans.

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  9. I agree with the article, but I also think that it is giving the youth an excuse to blame the church on their leaving, although the church does have a big part in it, so do the youth's want to stay. It is partly the church's fault but a large part of that is the youth. In this day there is less and less desire to learn about the gospel and to actually commit your entire life to Christ. At many youth groups you see the 'youth-night-Christians', and during the entire week they act as if they do not know Christ. As the bible says we need to be 'On fire' for God not lukewarm.
    The first love that God talked about in Revelation is becoming a common characteristic of the modern church. The church should not have to change it's ways to become more appealing to the people, the people should change their ways according to what they learn from the bible at their church. I think that the article was really good and I agree with it.
    -Ani Lamont

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  10. I agree with the problems the article deals with. Nowadays, the youth are more connected with the world and do not realize that our spiritual life is more important. I agree that the leader of the church has to teach the fundamentals of faith and maintain the principles of the church.
    Not only church, but also the members of the family, teachers and other authority members have to guide the youth to the right direction, so that they may choose the right path.
    -Eun Byul Cheon-

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  11. I do agree with a couple things that he mentions. It seems like the church is cares more about converting nonbelievers into christians than actually focusing on the amoung of believers they are losing. The church is trying to place a modern mask on ancient teachings. While the world is progressing on it is trying to apply old teachings to it which loses the interest of many. But i do believe its not just the church's fault but neither is it the youth's fault. If they want to decide to choose a different route then so be it. As long as they know what they were taught and that theyre good people I see nothing wrong. The church needs to figure out a plan on how to stop making things like a "party" and go back to taking things a little more seriously.

    -Amira

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  12. I feel like these days many churches have the idea that being efficient in sharing God's Word means filling up every seat in the house two or three times every Sunday. The idea of quality has been replaced by quantity. This has lead many church leaders to come up with desperate attempts to make the church seem more attractive. The problem with this is that, although our churches are filled with people every Sunday, their hearts remain unchanged. That initial feeling they had that drew them in in the first place eventually wears off.
    I think that the author definitely hit the nail on the head when he addressed many of these topics. However, we cannot forget that the responsibility of raising God-fearing teenagers not only lies on the Church but also on the parents. If they have not been shown what it looks like to have a relationship with God and what it means to be faithful to Him, then how are they supposed to know the Truth?

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  13. I agree with many points that he makes concerning the church and today's youth. I believe that we have created a watered down version of the gospel that might seem to be more appealing to kids. I agree that we need to be providing youth with the true gospel rather than what we have been giving them. I believe that when youth hear the true gospel and seek after God and a relationship rather then some feeling or checklist of do's and don'ts, that is when the youth of today will know what true Christianity is.
    Although i agree with the points made in the article, i have been to a few churches in which the case is that the youth department is led by a very strong pastor who is providing the kids with nothing less than the gospel of Jesus christ. In these cases i have seen the the root of the problem is with the youth not wanting anything to do with the Bible and christianity. No matter what form of the gospel is presented to them, their hearts have been hardened to it and are there only for self-seeking reasons or because they have been forced by their parents. I believe that although the church is in part at fault for where the youth are today, i believe that some of the blame belongs to both parents and the children themselves.
    - Patrick Austin

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  14. I find it very interesting how most of the reasons listed are actually parts of a chronological process that occurs as time passes and kids mature. Its very intriguing to see how all of these reasons work hand in hand with each other and are very deeply connected with one another. In addition to this, I to a certain extent, am able to relate to some of these reasons of why people leave church after high school. What I see is that many people today, as Marc so eloquently stated, do not fully comprehend nor do they understand the true message of the gospel. Instead they have misinterpreted the gospel, partially due to the way churches have spread the gospel and partially due to the way that those receiving the gospel choose to interpret the gospel itself.
    Of course, I wouldn't go as far as to say that I myself truly understand and comprehend the gospel, but its quite plain to see that many people don't quite grasp the purpose and key truths of the gospel. In the end, Marc has a good point, point being that if the church truly wishes to save the younger generations of modern-day society then they have to do it the right way. They have to show that what they can offer is something beyond what is earthly. They have to show the true value of accepting the sacrifice that Jesus made for us. If this doesn't change, then this depressing pattern of people leaving the church will only worsen with time.

    -Jonathan M. Sam-Vargas

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  15. I very much agree with what he has to say. When I read this, I can't help but think about my pastor in the US. He wanted to unify the church again and take out the youth concerts, and instead incorporate youth into the service. He said that the reason so many youth leave the church is because they never were in it to begin with. I believe that he was completely accurate in saying that. From a young age, youth were never taught what it really was to worship and know God. Instead, they were shown how to close there eyes and lift their hands to loud music that had the name "Jesus" here and there. As a church, we need to fight what has become normal, and teach youth what it truly means to be a Christian.

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  16. I totally agree with this article. Many churches these days are more focused on pleasing others rather than pleasing God. They rather focus on entertaining the youths so they dont get bored rather than teaching them the word of God. However I do agree that the parents of the youths do also play a role in this. They should teach their kids from the beggining the true gospel.

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  17. Marc made some amazing points and I believe that all of the things he said ring true. I'm thankful to have a dad who is obsessed with theology and a mom who is eager to teach me the word--I have to agree, though, that at my church back home the youth were often deprived of the knowledge on which the early church was founded.
    Honestly, though, I wish that me and my generation would start taking some initiative and try to find the truth for ourselves. I know that the creeds which are crucial to our faith are clearly written in the Bible. -Hannah S.

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  18. I agree with all of these. Nowadays, there are churches that do not teach the right things to people, but teach them to be nice and love Jesus which is the purpose, but not taught correctly. Since you are a teenager you know all of these things and how to be nice. The thing is to do it. Churches try to make people interested in the topic and they focus too much of it that they get out of topic and forget about teaching the word of God. I totally agree with the fact that high school students after they graduate from high school they do not go to church anymore and come back to it after a decade or maybe more.

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  19. I agree with this article. I would also add that in the way that some Christians talk about the word of God. Usually Christians talk about God in kind of another language, using word in a different way, for example we said that Jesus Christ is 100% God and 100% human and that just doesn`t make sense to some people in this case teenagers. And keeping the teenager in youhtgroups, that they are unprepared or ignorant, and some other of the reasons the Marc mentioned on his article, could are main reason of people leaving the church nowadays.

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  20. I can see this happening in Potential Church. Just as stated in the article, the church is trying to be revelant with the world and I can see how Pontential Church is going towards that direction. Youth groups now days try too hard to be cool and fun and they keep feeding the children baby food. I am sure that lots of churches and youth groups are aware of this but seem to not take any action to fix the problem.
    -Seung Jae

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  21. While there is nothing wrong with drinking a latte and wearing slightly tighter clothing than the average lumberjack, I do agree that it can be taken the extreme of using it as a sham to bring the "cool" kids into your church. There should be a reliance upon the Holy Spirit to bring kids in, and we shouldn't dress Him up. The Spirit of God is HOLY He is not the "cool" spirit or the "hip" spirit, He is the Holy Spirit and should be treated as such.
    I just listened to a sermon where the preacher talked about how all kids have a innate "baloney meter" that goes off when a fifty-year-old youth leader walks in the room with earrings and spikey hair. The kids today won't care about what you know until they know that you care. So, in closing, less relevance and more Bible teaching.
    - Brandon L. Spearman

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  22. This is a really scary thought, to think that that many youth in the church will leave as soon as they gain freedom to choose. Several of the churches that supports our family in the states have pastors like this, Where the youth group leader tries to sell Christianity as "cool".
    I agree that if church's didn't try to sell it to people and more just told it how it was, then there would be allot more devoted believers. And Christianity might grow in the this generation.

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  23. Hi Mr Spearman. Very true what your saying, alhough I didnt understand the skinny jeans part.
    We need to show the gospel the way its supposed to be shown, and not make it modern and soften it up.

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  24. The freedom in the church is a privilege or at least it was now that privileged has become our sort of church. I think that the strictness of the church is also terrible. living in the olden days i would have been dead in a second of thought. Before in those times if you disobeyed your parents you would get executed, now if you scream at your parent you just get an angry look at you or a good hard spanking. I really don't see a way for a church to stay at a pure position.. In most cases all gentile churches are going to get old of the tradition and are going to want freedom again. So in the end I really don't think you can have a system of churches at a pure position because every person is going to want something different for that church.

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  25. Like some other people mentioned, it is very scary to see that the majority of the kids involved in the church their whole life, ending up leaving the church. I really liked what he said near the beginning, “we yawn at a 5 minute bible text, but almost trip over ourselves fawning over a minor celebrity or athlete or makes any vague reference to to being a Christian.” It can be very true. I know that for myself I went through a time when I didn’t want to hear anything about the Bible, and especially Bible teachings. Although, I could sit there for hours and read romance novels.

    Another thing that really stood out to me was that we only seek for God’s help, or see Him as useful, when we are in time of need. When everything is perfect, we have good friendships, our families are not fighting too much, we’re getting good grades, we don’t see why we need God. We think that life is perfect and who needs an invisible God to help us? But, when God puts us through time of trial is when we realize that He is the only One who can satisfies us, He is who we really need.

    Lastly, the youth groups are not encouraging or teaching the youth how to be bold for their faith. Once they leave the house they find something better than what they’ve been taught their whole lives. Maybe, when they were living under the parents they knew all the right answers, they knew who God was and why He sent His beloved Son Jesus to die on the cross. But they might have never dug deeper, or never applied it to their own practical life. When they were living with their parents, their parents were, “simply encouraging them to ‘be nice’ and ‘love Jesus’”. But, they never understood why they should help the homeless, or go to the nursing home. It was just a habit that they had always done and not necessarily understood why their parents made them do it.

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  26. Dear Mr. Spearman,
    First of all, where do you find these kinds of pictures, I think they are hilarious and I would like to look at them. But this post reminded me of something Mr. Erickson told me, he said that there are two kinds of people in the world (not jews and gentiles) People who pray before the accident and people who pray during the accident. Which do you think God will help? The one who had been praying and had been faithful before they actually saw God as neccesary. The main reason a shocking 70% of all kids leave their churches and lose faith in christ after graduating from high school is because their whole life they had never expierienced tragedy because their parents & God sheilded them from it. So when they graduated and leave their parents, they see no reason to believe in God and have faith and to accept Christ. It really bothers me that the second people have the freedom they instantly make the wrong choices just because they can... i.e 90% of "Pop Stars" Which brings me to what you talked about in class today when a christian girl became famous and you said it is hard to be one of them and still be with Him. (meaning God). It is completely ridiculous that the pasters in modern day want their flock to see them as someone who is"cool" or "hip" or "modern". That's really not what being a paster is about. It's not about dressing up in skinny jeans and wearing sunglasses. We are losing our christians to modern pop culture and it bothers me that the only thing we can do about it is pray. Of course God has a plan and so the the athiests must play part. Thank you for reading my comment.

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  27. Wow! To have 70% of youth stop attending church, that is a huge number!
    I definitely agree with #9, the world, but I think especially the U.S. has taken Church and made it a place of comfort, a place of relaxation and enjoyment. And While I definitely think we should enjoy hearing the Word of the Lord, we should not be just sitting there hearing it with colourful pictures. We should be given it to live it out!
    Also I do think Youth and even children need to have the responsibility of sitting through the survice, or at least part of it, because how else will they learn about all the stuff we so badly just expect them to know on their own!
    I also agree that the Church has not shown people how to turn to Christ, but they just tell the to "be nice" "love one another" "love Jesus", and while those are all important, if there is no reason or faith behind it, isn't it just deeds that you must complete.
    While there are things in this message that I disagree with, over all it is true. The youth, that went to Church all of their life, have left and half of them are not planning on going back anytime soon. It is so sad to see so many people, who said that they loved God, completely forget who He is!

    ~Caroline Grace Barger

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  28. Isaac ayala said...
    I saw this all when I recently went back to the USA. people who called themselves Christians, but cussed in about every sentence and talked about well... Just inappropriate things. worship services have become concerts and everything is about the entertainment in the church. I don't like it. I hope iit changes. People are hearing only what they want to hear in the sermons and they don't want to accept the truth. It like taking all the pparts of the Bible that talk about how much God loves you, and leaving the rest out. This is a road that leads to destruction.

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  29. Isaac ayala said...
    I saw this all when I recently went back to the USA. people who called themselves Christians, but cussed in about every sentence and talked about well... Just inappropriate things. worship services have become concerts and everything is about the entertainment in the church. I don't like it. I hope iit changes. People are hearing only what they want to hear in the sermons and they don't want to accept the truth. It like taking all the pparts of the Bible that talk about how much God loves you, and leaving the rest out. This is a road that leads to destruction.

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  30. I do agree with him in some parts and I disagree in others. I think that it is true that sometimes making a church too much of the world can definitily take away the focus on God when the main focus of the people inside the church is to modernize their church. However, I think that making a church modern is not always bad, it is just the way that the church adapts to the current generation. Not necessarily to comform to the patterns of this world or to imitate it, but to change and fit to this generation. An example can be seen when people use their Iphones as bibles. Is it really wrong to use your Iphone as a bible instead of a book? Are lights and fast food places really bad? It is like saying money is bad. Money is only bad when we start to love it. The problem is when the inside part of the church becomes of the world. When what is being taught and the people who are involved in the church become of the world. Because, after all, a church is composed of people, and not a physical building or anything inside it.I think some people are just afraid of change.

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  31. I agree with most of what this article talks about. I think that a lot of churches are dumbing down the Bible and staying away from controversial issues in sermons. i really think that one of the main reasons kids leave the church is because they dont have a strong Biblical foundation and dont build on that foundation. They get swept away by the things of this world too easily. They need to be fed meat after they know the basics of the Bible. Churches and youth group dont often get to the meat of the Bible, the topics that are thought provoking and sometimes controversial. I still think that it is amazing how many people leave the church after being raised in a Christian home.
    - Daniel Wunderink

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  32. Tho, this article got me a bit lost in the middle. I do appreciate the fact that someone is taking action beyond and outside the boundaries of the church, to reach those who were once inside the church and have left. It serves as a good guide, to know what is a good church and which one is not.

    But, I do understand why so many churches try so hard to be fun, and do many activities for the youth. It is a way to bring the unsaved to church.To show them it can be nice to. That the worlds ideas of fun, and really a cheap copy of Gods idea of fun

    The skinny jeans doesn't seem like a problem to me. The way someone dresses ( unless its inappropriate) should have no weight on weather someone says a church is missing the point or not.

    I as a christian, that has been raised in the christian church, feel like they should challenge us more. I love that he says that they didn't give us enough credit, and i think that is very true. And sometimes we are lead to believe that we are too young to be digging so deep into the bible. I really would like to be more challenged in the church. To be rebuked, and that they wouldn't paint christianity with pretty colors, but with its true colors.

    To end with one last thought. Maybe so many christians leave because, churches present the pretty side of christianity first and then, instead of digging deeper, they stay there. And then when the youth try to go to hear what the church has to say to the adults, they realise , its the same basic level, just for older people.

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  33. I do agree with this comment, i do agree that now most kids dont go to church to hear the word of god but to relax or see their friends. Others dont go to church because they say it isnt cool, i think lots of kids have been in that situation were their friends tells them to not go to church, because it isnt cool. Most kids that i know woulgo to church just because their moms would tell them to go. I wish that people would notice that we arent going to church to be cool, we are going to hear the word of God, to know more about him.

    -eun ae cheon

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  34. Anonymous said...
    I agree a lot with what this article is saying. Churches now days are just focusing on making it a place of comfort and fun. We should enjoy church but not making it just about the fun and comfort. I also agree with the topic on "feelings". People are wanting to "feel" something, but nothing stable to put their faith on.

    -Athena Diaz-Dulanto

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  35. Anonymous said...
    I agree a lot with what this article is saying. Churches now days are just focusing on making it a place of comfort and fun. We should enjoy church but not making it just about the fun and comfort. I also agree with the topic on "feelings". People are wanting to "feel" something, but nothing stable to put their faith on.

    -Athena Diaz-Dulanto

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  36. I agree with the article because it's true that now the church's main goal is to make church something comfortable and fun for young people. When it's main goal should be to preach God's word. People should go to church because they want to not because their obligated too. Plus by churches doing this many young people think the church is full of hypocrites. -soraya pardo

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  37. I do agree with this article. Nowadays, many churches are trying to call the teen's attention by imitating them. This completely makes the churches to focus in irrelevant things instead of what is really significant. Teens need to learn more about how to believe and have faith in God, so no one comes and confuse them with their different thoughts that could make them doubt. Churches should focus on God, teaching them the importance of having a good and honest relationship with Him, so they will always feel the need to go to church.I think churches are trying to please teens, but they should be careful not to confuse them.

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  38. I agree with this article because it shows people how the future generations that will tell about Jesus are leaving the church and not filling themselves with the Word of God. one of the things that I disagree on is that they blame it all on the church. The church doesnt do this and the church doesnt do that, its really not fully the fault on the church but its on the people that decide to leave it because now they are the ones that have to fill themselves with the Word of God and who knows if theyll do it or not because in first place, if they wanted top hear the word of God they would have stayed in the church. I think that some churches are focusing on bringing more teens to church but truth is that they should be bringing everyone single one, because they bible says that the gospel is for everybody not just jews.

    D.S.

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  39. I feel like the world in general, not only teens, are forgetting what the purpose of the church really is. It's not about trying to simply "chill" with friends, but it's about fellowship in Christ with one another. I don't completely agree that it's wrong to dress in plaid and skinny jeans to try to act "cool" because as long as it's modest, there really is no problem. What i do agree and really like is with number 8, and number 1. They both talk about how kids these days, or people these days, our getting smarter and smarter. Honestly, I think this is a good thing. However, the Bible is in this world to help us, and not to harm us. So, really, what is there to lose?
    -Yun Sub

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